Thursday, April 22, 2010

Thursday Thirteen

I never expected to own a home. Somehow, I always thought my future would be one of drifting and moving - so much for that sketchy, romantic plan. Now inertia has set in and the likelihood of moving dwindles more every day. Instead of lamenting, I’ve decided to list thirteen positive reasons for staying put.

While sometimes tempted to have a pessimistic slant, such as the money poured into the place, I happily never resorted to negativity.

1. The loan was signed on Halloween night – It’s my favorite holiday and I still remember driving to the empty residence with a cautious lookout for trick-or-treaters

2. My driveway is short and straight – silly sounding but convenient in many ways, including when the region received last winter’s record snowfall

3. Hardly anyone races vehicles down our street since the neighborhood is a series of cul-de-sacs

4. There is only one way in and out – see above, as it cuts down on traffic

5. The house is brick with a minimum of painting required around the eaves

6. None of the neighbors pile junk in their yards – not since the small-time punk drug dealers moved, anyway

7. Folks are mostly very friendly – one guy offered to mow the bottom strip of our steep backyard so we don’t have to drag the mower down stone steps

8. Our crime rate is extremely low to the best of my knowledge (I should probably bring that up with other residents, though I engage a monitored alarm system daily, either way)

9. The suburb is situated within a reasonable drive of three metropolitan areas – museums, sporting arenas, and my favorite, music venues, abound

10. Scores of fine restaurants populate the entire region

11. Well-maintained bicycle trails extend for miles – a beautiful stretch runs right through my town

12. A state-of-the-art furnace controls the climate – to quote Jason Lee as Azrael in “Dogma”, “There is no pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater, than central air.”

13. And hands down, the best reason is Amorphophallus titanium. Implausibly thriving by my front door, this botanical gem was sold unwittingly under the name “snake plant” for the mottled, reptilian-looking stalks supporting a delicate network of leaves. Native to the equatorial rainforests of Sumatra, this specimen blooms infrequently in the wild. This spring, for the third time since I brought it home, the huge bloom is emerging from the ground inches every day. The dark green spear currently resembles an excited model of a mammalian body part for which botanists named the species. Before the month is through, the odor of decaying flesh will flood the entrance to my home as this look-alike to the related calla lily opens its titanic inflorescence. Then the majestic, reeking structure will collapse and I won’t see the beautiful foliage until June or even July. This spectacle will keep me put as surely as anything, I must admit.


  1. Sounds like your house is a real home

  2. Oh, I would *love* a nice bicycle trail! Especially in a nice area... sigh... Sounds like a nice place you've got - even with a stinky plant next to the front of the house. LOL!

  3. My first house had a driveway on a hill made of gravel in Wisconsin. The street was one of the main arteries in town. Try backing a VW Van up a snow covered, gravel drive at high speed between light changes sometime.

    That short, straight driveway? Seriously cool.

  4. Uhh... you're happy about the Amporphallus Titanium? I did an article last year, when I was still working on The Post, about it's smaller cousin called Amorphallus Conjac... I believe. It was a beautiful plant, I must admit, but the smell? I'm not sure if I could live with that. And the Titanium would be even worse. Corpse plant, indeed... but to each their own.

  5. Sounds great! Glad you like living there!


    My TT is at

  6. I love cul-de-sacs and the Amorphophallus titanium sounds too cool.
    My first house was a tiny little thing. The best thing about it was the price.

  7. It might be a little too “homey” Inez, being rather a mess currently. The bike trails are a boon, Kimberly, and yet I barely rode them a few summers; I did better last year. Alice, that sounds like an absolute nightmare (I’m glad you survived)! Lucius, the smell is only bad for a few days, thank heaven, and the view from my living room window is spectacular whether it’s blooming or not. Thanks, Paige! Ella, I lucked into an affordable and roomy first home but you were smart to stay in your budget when you invested!

  8. Kudos on your new home!

  9. fantastic that you love the house. And that it's relatively easy to keep up. though I admit the flower might be a bit off-putting. lol

  10. Congrats! Sounds like you're lovin your place.

  11. OMG, you have a Corpse flower? Ugh, they stink like a dead person.

    Other than the giant stinky flower your house sounds nice and homey.


  12. Update on the flower: it's still not stinky; I think the warm days and cool nights are perfect to preserve this unfurled state. I'm still stupid-excited that the thing does this every few years. And I don't have the best sense of smell, so the odor won't bother me too much and might keep salespeople away from the door, to boot! :) Thanks for all the kind words!

  13. Another great list! You've made a good case for staying there. Doing your traveling in your head may be more fun anyway. Knowing you, I'd say there are plenty of delights awaiting.

  14. You always say the kindest things, Dilo. ~hugs~


Thank you for taking time to share your opinion. Hearing from readers adds immensely to my joy of writing!