Keeping Busy – & – Keeping it Local

I wish my husband wasn’t so adamant about following current events. He considers it his duty to track the status of human conflict. I have no idea why.

Sometimes I try blocking out whatever bad news he’s hearing by lying on the bed with my fan on high for white noise, often with a cat or two (or even all three). He doesn’t understand the level of my futile empathy, though, evidenced by later regurgitating stuff I didn’t need or want to know.

My defenses against pointless anxiety and depression are, as stated first, keeping busy. My summer gardening provided much relief, as do cooking and baking. To his credit, he praises all my efforts.

What he also misunderstands is how, an equal introvert by nature, I’ll speak to strangers hoping to spread a little joy. I’ll compliment a person’s appearance, comment on trivial matters, or simply smile at their children. My favorite tactic is spreading laughter.

Oftentimes I say, “Excuse me” after bumping into a person or obstructing his or her path.

The most common friendly response these days is, “You’re okay.”

To that I gravely reply, “No, I’m not.”

It never fails to elicit at least a small chuckle. And some amused folks agree with my comedic sentiment.

Are folks around you mostly polite or more on the rude side? When others apologize by saying, “I’m sorry,” should I look them from head to toe and reply, “Yes, you are.”

-

Why Our Carpet Looks Awful

This house, built in 1978, has all original carpet as far as we know. My husband and I had one bathroom and the kitchen renovated years ago, plus new entryway flooring installed. Outside is another story altogether. Anyway, the following illustrates why we’ve left the carpet alone.

While I make grooming attempts, Terra and Polly wrestling gets the job done better. Check this out…

I must be clear that we’d rather have our silly kitties than a neat and tidy house. They are well behaved felines with only the expected issues.

Meanwhile, Dandelion is a long legged female with great strength. We think she never enjoyed a proper kittenhood before we took her in. By the way, my husband doesn’t know she’s shredded anything but cat furniture.

Look at those pink ear tips as she
surveys her efforts...

Do you prefer rugs and carpeting? If not, what is your favorite flooring material?

-

Big Wins Despite Double Jeopardy

Some months back my husband ordered a reserve bottle of our favorite sushi rice seasoning. Upon its arrival we discovered the cap broken and thus decided to retain the old bottle’s cap.

Well, after my husband used the rest he left the empty on the kitchen counter. Knowing its location, I retrieved the fresh bottle, switched caps, and proceeded to shelve the newer one.

To my horror, the sleeve of my shirt caught the bottle’s neck and sent it flying. I yelled, “Noooo!” watching the glass hurtle toward our hard tile floor.

I’m amazed to report that only the cap broke. I related the tale to D and he was happy as me. But that wasn’t all.

“Wait,” he said, “You’re about to hear something even funnier.”

As it turns out, he knocked the empty onto the floor earlier and, again, the glass did not break. Neither did the cap in his case. We will put the vinegar in fresh packaging and I’ll be careful to strain the product for any inner glass chips.

Do you think Japanese glass makers use a process that helps prevent shattering? Are you aware that some white vinegars sold these days are too low in acidity for safe canning?

-

Adolescent Humor for April Fool’s Day

My husband and I enjoy Youtube videos by a man whose moniker is Lock Picking Lawyer. His content is brief and serious as he demonstrates most lock manufacturers’ utter lack of integrity and their flawed products.

Every April first my husband and I look forward to his salacious comedic videos. This year he demonstrated how wrenches obliterate locks and his sexual innuendos went above and beyond. The title, “My 36 Inch King Dick Wrecks Locks!” says it all. If you like such humor, check it out. I think he must spend months planning his next outrageous theme.

Are you the type to roll your eyes at such silliness? Or like me, does this sort of humor make you laugh so hard you *wrench* your back?

Perspective

 

     My husband bought me
tiny hot sauce
bottles...

Was it not sweet for him to remember I like miniature things? And do you find the comparison with a large one amusing as I do?

Fun with American English Idioms

In our early dating days, I learned my husband had a funny way with vocabulary. One time, instead of saying ‘peachy keen’ or ‘hunky dory’ to mean all is well he said, ‘peachy dory’.

The turn of phrase still amuses us. Sharing old memories is a blessings, for sure.

Fast forward thirty plus years and he delivered another phrase twist worth mention. We debated on something and he conceded, adding, “Whatever flips your boat”. The alternates he conflated are whatever ‘floats your boat’ or ‘flips your trigger’.

Aren’t regional idioms fascinating? Are you familiar with how many regard boating or sports, not to mention long lost meanings?

-

A Trio of Ironies

A longtime pal called the other day. K complained about the overly chatty guy at her hair salon. Funny enough, I could not get a word in edgewise. But she needed to vent and I try to be a compassionate listener.

It's no chore. And I cannot complain. K's parents, who always treated me like another child, continue declining health-wise.

My friend also shared an anecdote. Her youngest daughter S is working toward a hairstyling license yet fears cutting peoples' hair. This fundamental service seems to me as way simpler than the science of hair dyes.

~shrugs~

While it seems unrelated, I have seen this aspiring young hairstylist's childhood bedroom strewn with discarded candy wrappers and dirty snack plates. Her unrepentant sloppy nature is legendary among family and friends.

Therein lies another paradox as S complained to her mother about assistants leaving messy countertops. Even with it being a place of business, the incongruous statement left her mother speechless.

Hearing this and K reiterating her taciturn responsive "Huh", I laughed until tears squirted. Poor young S has probably been told my reaction.

Do you know the rather morbid story behind the iconic barber's pole? Isn't it amazing that veterinarians historically treated humans, and would you agree it's likely a great option in dire circumstances?

-

My Year?

My dentist prognosticating 2024 as “my year” leaves me in doubt as to specifics. February hasn’t started off so great.

Dandelion decided to jump onto my side around midnight, January 31st. Slipping, she dug her claws into my right forearm. While painful, it didn’t give me much thought until later. I could have sworn she left a shed claw in my flesh.

After consulting my primary care physician via phone I visited a local urgent care facility. The nurse practitioner who treated my topical foot infection last spring retained his dry humor.

“Now, the fun begins,” he quipped upon entering the examination room. His magnified close inspection revealed no foreign object, much to my relief. I’m simply on a seven day antibiotic course.

As in May of 2023 he again said to avoid folk remedies like warm compresses followed by squeezing the wound site. I replied in agreement and how I declined my husband’s suggested ointment and bandage.

Acting impressed, he immediately asked if I had a medical background. Far from it, mere bad luck and being a klutz have taught me a lot over the years.

Did you know that antibiotics help push intruding objects out? Isn’t a good sense of humor important in most any upbeat workplace?

-

Shameless

Pet shaming photos always make us laugh. Upon finding bits of Terra’s chenille worm toys downstairs I decided to try my hand at it.

She makes us laugh daily...

I bought a bagful but numbers are dwindling. lol They are designed for a string wand toy. For whatever reason, she prefers that I toss them for her to chase and carry around.

Is it a surprise I followed her all over the house in my attempts? Isn’t it awesome that our kitties don’t ingest things like these googly toy eyes?

-

Puzzling & Reprogramming

I recently got addicted to on-line puzzles thanks to talented creators like our friends at Eastside Cats and 15 and Meowing. Yesterday I even submitted a few like the one below. The only problem is that manipulating the mouse with my right thumb tensed nonstop resulted in minor pain.
120One of Nature's Cutest Killers
So I’ve loosened my hold which, of course, seems to have triggered discomfort around my shoulder blade. * ~sigh~ I’ll find the right balance between technique and limiting my time on Jigsawplanet. Meanwhile, I’ve started using my left thumb to hit the space bar. Reprogramming how I type takes effort.

Isn’t it annoying when favoring one body part causes issues elsewhere? Can you believe that my hobbling around on a mildly sprained ankle resulted in injuring the other?

* Update and duh moment: The back/neck discomfort is not from changing my grip. ~shakes head~ It is due to the fact I am using the mouse for unprecedent periods.

-

Kitty Nicknames

The sweet kitty lover over at the Eastside Cats blog shared this post regarding nicknames. I commented about hearing somewhere that the more nicknames a pet has collected the more love the animal receives.

I don’t know if that’s true but like the theory. The idea popped into my mind to share all our kitties’ aliases, whether gone but not forgotten or living here today.

Then I realized the list would soon become a tedious read and I don’t want to bore anyone. Heh… So, I’ll share the latest our Dandelion earned.

I have resisted all temptation to neaten my novice, ragged job...
She obviously does not care that her fur looks lopsided...

Friday morning my husband told how she woke him at 2am just like clockwork. It made me think of the creepy, dark and dystopian film “A Clockwork Orange” released in 1971.

Without hesitation, I called Dani “Clockwork Pink” and my guy cracked up. Her pink skin really is showing through since dear Strayer recommended a pet grooming tool.

Do you or have you in past had any nickname(s)? Isn’t it rather sweet that some coworkers back in the nineties called me Flower Child?

-

A Frog in a Box

Today my husband and I joked about how many missing items would be discovered whenever this house is demolished. Cat toys and treats would no doubt rank top of the list. Then he said something that made me burst out laughing.

“At least they won’t find a frog in a box.”

In case you’re not familiar, Loony Tunes released a cartoon in 1955 called “One Froggy Evening”. Only with my brief research did I learn the title. What a great pun on the cliché “one foggy night” as a novel’s opening line. Again I apologize, Liz, as I know you dislike puns. ~lowers head~ But here is the cartoon if you are interested.

Did you know cartoons once targeted adult audiences? Isn’t it a shame they are mostly distributed to sell toys?

-

Strays – A Movie Review

When my friend Scars and I went to see “Evil Dead Rise” (which I enjoyed immensely) the cinema showed a trailer for a live action/animated film called “Strays”. I laughed and laughed, vowing to go see it. Scars wasn’t available to go this morning, but my husband agreed.

This is from a Today Show clip...

Well, I laughed myself stupid. But I was alone. My man almost fell asleep and an older couple actually left a short way into the film. I’d rather have waited for Scars or even gone alone.

This does prove my theory that I have a seventeen-year-old boy’s sensibilities residing in an aging woman’s brain. lol The raunchy humor, despite overly excessive swearing, suited my inner child.

Do you have a juvenile side? Have you ever attended a film screening solo?

-

One Popular Plant

One late spring day I found a potted mint plant in Kroger’s produce department. Since I don’t have good luck with house plants, I planted it next to my mailbox. The brick border should keep this aggressive species from spreading; it’s worked so far. I enjoy leaves blended into my yogurt/fruit smoothies and, as you can see below, pollinators like its blooms.

Filming these calm insects was all fine and good until one of the big black critters landed on my arm. Unfortunately I’d stopped recording. Evidence of my reaction would have been hilarious, I’m sure. The wasp simply flew away, probably startled as me by my reaction. lol I don’t even know if those wasps have a stinger.

Are you or a friend/loved one allergic to insect venom? Did you know that disturbed fire ants here in the US state of Florida can inflict life threatening anaphylaxis?

-

Strong Bonds and Good Memories

I like Strayer’s comment, that Jezebel and I are linked rather like an old married couple. Bathwater made a similar observation. Funny enough, dear departed kitty Luna was my soul mate. My husband, far from jealous, agrees one hundred percent. Among other adorable things, she would stand on me and stare into my face while I watched TV. He said she was worshipping me.

Vets and Techs always remarked on
her Angora rabbit soft fur...

Our Saturday mornings were awesome. I’d slip an undergarment on beneath my pajama top (protecting tender areas from wayward claws – lol) and we would snuggle on the couch together for a comedic skit show called “Mystery Science Theater Three Thousand”. My mother got to witness this.

In fact, Mom also noted how Luna, Tilly (rest her sweet soul), and Jezebel acted like my trio of satellites. This brings me back to “MST3K” because the setting where our human and robot protagonists were subject to bad movies was called The Satellite of Love. Those improv artists remain a group, riffing on bad movies in front of a live audience.

Do you appreciate improvisational comedy? Did you ever watch “Whose Line is it Anyway?” in either its British or American incarnation?

-

A Nice Update on Our Fire Department Encounter – & – My Latest Kitchen Gadget

I’ve been meaning to share for some time that I did send a message praising our town’s firefighters. The fire chief had an email address on the city website. Naming each individual, I told the story of my embarrassing little episode in the kitchen.

Chief Westendorf replied:

“Thank you so much for passing this message along. I have forwarded a copy of you message to each of our staff, and council. Additionally, a copy of this letter will be placed in each of their personnel files to document the good work they have done. Franklin is a wonderful community, and you have helped demonstrate that for all.”

He added “Enjoy your weekend!”, which his replay helped me do. ~grin~ Now onto my new toy gadget.

Having gained a sincere appreciation for cast iron pans I researched how best to clean them. My husband also liked what I found. Not only has it turned out to have multiple uses (scouring bamboo cutting boards and my Korean dolsot), owning what is essentially chainmail makes me feel like a true kitchen warrior. Heh…

It’s also dishwasher safe!

Wasn’t the fire chief’s reply nice? Do you like my chainmail?

-

Overworked and Underpaid

I jest, of course, having retired years ago. And anyone who read about the yard work we had done knows I’m thankful for my husband. He wasn’t thrilled about spending so much yet agreed for my sake. Of course, he is also glad it got done.

At any rate, he developed a craving for Kentucky Fried Chicken yesterday. He planned on having it delivered but I offered to drive over upon learning about the fee (see above – lol) and even wait when he couldn’t get the order placed online.

Well, the deal he found was only available via the Internet. I parked the car and called him. It took a while for him to call back and I was really hungry, so I went through the adjacent Taco Bell drive-thru for a burrito.

I’d planned on eating it at home, though, until he told me the wait time of over fifteen minutes. Then he called again while I was eating. Already irritated, I couldn’t believe when he told me he’d accidentally placed the order with a KFC in Toledo, Ohio, hundreds of miles away. It took an effort to let him start over. First, he called the other restaurant to cancel.

~sigh~

Thank heaven I had my iPod with me. I listened to an old comedy routine by Mitch Hedberg. He was awesome and I find his shy unwillingness to make eye contact charming. I’m forever saddened that he succumbed to his heroin addiction.

Some time after I finished my burrito, he called yet again and the wait was now just four minutes. The real kicker is that I suggested that the order wouldn’t go through without the phone number field filled. He said it would have been highlighted on the screen. Wrong. I wanted to smack him when I got home.

Even worse, I like cold fried chicken as much as he but the piece I bit into today wasn’t fully cooked inside. Yuck. Looks like we’ll be microwaving those pieces remaining. And it was not too bad, so I will not complain to anyone at KFC. Meanwhile, for your viewing pleasure, here is a clip of Mr. Hedberg:

Isn’t it funny that my husband spent decades working in IT (Internet Technology, for crying out loud)? Aren’t you proud of me for not giving him a rap on the noggin?

-

Silly Updates & Sillier Quirks

Reading that several blogging friends never tasted pet food reminded me of a funny story. Perhaps ten years ago I was visiting my parents and felt a wee bit peckish. Not wanting to be a bother, I spied a snack container and decided to snag a few nibbles.

Gah! Were they dry. No doubt you’ve guessed that they were dog treats. My mother enjoyed a good chuckle.

As for the equally unpalatable gnocchi, it turned out wonderful. I made pesto using Thai basil and chopped walnuts which, along with wilted baby spinach and a few other ingredients, disguised the dumplings’ texture while the recipe also provided a side dish every bit as good as what I used to order at our local Bravo! Italian Eatery. In fact I enjoyed a small bowlful just this morning.

My quirks are things I never really recognized until reaching my 50’s. One is a bad habit – unplugging an appliance by its cord rather than the sturdier plug. So far I haven’t short circuited anything but the practice could be hazardous. Funny enough, I think it’s because my torso and arms are both a bit shorter than average. This makes reaching the back wall above a countertop a tiny bit awkward, especially with my overall weight gain. ~sigh~ I’ll try breaking this (let’s face it) lazy tendency before any household equipment succumbs.

Another personal glitch made itself known at the cinema Sunday afternoon. This one developed in my youth, perhaps during school activities. In a nutshell, during any lengthy event I begin wishing it to end. Regardless how much I’m enjoying myself there is a point I’d rather be at home cataloging favorite memories. Tomorrow (I hope) I’ll share what film we saw and my experience.

Do you agree that gnocchi’s rather unfortunate shape gives sauce a clingy surface? Are there any movies you would see at the cinema?

-

Truth in Advertising?

I have been reading labels like never before, both for our cats’ health and us humans. Mind numbing as all the conflicting nutritional information is, one thing has begun standing out. Almost every package shows not only the product but also a serving suggestion. Most of the time those make sense. But not always…

If this dumpling could speak,
what would it say?

Even funnier is the fact the gnocchi are clearly visible through otherwise clear packaging.

Doesn’t this close-up look rather like an insect larva? Could they have made it look less appetizing?

-

An Honest Response & Humorous Retort

Regarding the recent weather, dearest Strayer asked how we keep our pipes from freezing and are able to start our car in extreme cold. As to the former, we replaced our vastly undersized heat pump after several miserable winter seasons; I don’t know how our pipes didn’t burst and recall that 1990’s era kerosene space heater let off an unforgettable stink. :P

Fast forward and we didn’t know for sure our diesel sedan would start for his 12/27 dental appointment despite us having an attached garage. However, we comfortably hunkered in ‘til then and our hybrid electric car started just fine last Tuesday morning.

On a foodie note, I lovingly blame Pam for making me crave party snacks. We already had tasty vegetables and dipping sauces. Then I found the following marked down item just this morning.

I do not want to admit how many nuts
& sweets comprised my so-called
dinner this evening...

Can you believe the store priced that party tray at $14.95 (US)? Did I not score big paying less than $5.00 for over a pound of treats?

-