As mentioned in the title, this post is not exactly family friendly. And if you are ill at ease reading intimacy, please feel free to give the following a skip. It’s a little beyond suggestive. Instead, feel free to enjoy once again a boy in a dress during this past LA Fashion Week.
|Remington Leith of Palaye Royale|
If you are hanging in there, let me first say I’m sorry that I did not participate in the Facebook group Rainbow Snippets the last several weekends, in part due to our long trip out of town. Today I am too busy trying to get back into (re)writing and catching up on laundry to do those talented authors justice (reading their snippets and commenting).
But in the process of working on “The Cat Who Ate the Canary” this afternoon I decided to take a minute and share something anyway.
The five sentence snippet is meant to illustrate the weakness of a character who breaks off relations with his morally ambiguous, manipulative ex-wife. I’ve struggled with the sentence/paragraph structure before. Today I think I may have gotten it better.
If you have a minute, please read the former and latter incarnations and tell me what you think. I appreciate constructive feedback. As for back story, Jackson is getting turned on by a stranger and wonders if he should have continued relations with his ex. Thank you, Lisa, for mentioning the confusion.
Lighting a cigarette, Pamela announced her pregnancy by the fertile new husband lying in post coital infidelity. Jackson held his breath and his tongue that day. He walked out that motel room door with socks stuffed in his jacket pocket and became a devoted hermit at the ripe old age of twenty-seven.
He had not regretted the decision for one minute. Until tonight.
Lying with her ex-husband in post coital infidelity, Pamela waved a lit cigarette announcing her pregnancy by the fertile new spouse. Jackson held his breath and his tongue, and walked through that motel room door with socks stuffed in his jacket pocket.
A devoted hermit at the ripe old age of twenty-seven, he had not regretted the decision for one minute. Until tonight.
In the first one, doesn’t it read like the new husband is lying with his wife in post coital infidelity? ~snicker~ I hope you’re having a lovely weekend!