Cracking Up & Seeking That Bright Side

As January comes toward a close, I’m finding 2019 is no improvement over 2018. We just can’t quite catch a break.

After an unsuccessful effort to eradicate my fish tank’s deadly ich parasite with higher temperatures, that heater stopped working through my attempts to bring temperatures down from a reasonable 86 F to a more ‘typhoid’ mollie friendly 78. An older unit brought out of long retirement refused to regulate.

This ordeal was costing me sleep. Slight adjustments resulted in ten degree swings in a matter of hours.

The night before last I set my iPod’s timer to wake me about every two hours and fifteen minutes so I could intervene and prevent extreme spikes or plummets. That’s more intense timing than a rescued kitten demands! In a funny twist, it was better rest than I’d been getting, lying half awake all night long.

So, with my husband’s encouragement, yesterday I drove us out to lunch and a pet store where they happened to stock the very make and model I’d considered.

It’s an Aqueon Pro 100 costing over $50, but I’m happy to report it’s pretty well holding to 77.4 F since installation. In retrospect, I should have shopped on Chewy.com.

Oh, well. All that was about to become the least of our concerns.

Almost home with purchase in hand, we were slammed into by a hit and run driver. The sedan heading toward us sped up to blow through a traffic light turning red as I rushed to turn left and clear the intersection.

I’m happy to report we are uninjured aside from my husband’s understandable back ache. He thinks it actually happened getting in and out of the police officer’s SUV.

That lead officer on sight, a lieutenant, acted very professional and sympathetic. After overseeing my beloved Chevy Volt loaded on the flatbed tow truck, he broke protocol and drove us the two miles or so to our front door.

It’s amazing that I don’t suffer so much as a bruise or a twinge. I credit this in part due to my muscle tone from all those weightlifting sessions. In addition, my intense thought process preceding the collision might have provided a distraction keeping me from tensing up.

Of course I wanted to avoid that accident. However, in the microseconds beforehand, I estimated that straightening our trajectory would result in a head on impact. That would be bad. My split second decision to resume course meant our tank of a Volt got hit on the right front fender instead.

The criminal hit us so hard we sat incapacitated facing the other direction, able to watch those dwindling taillights headed west. Yet with no air bags deployed, the car may not be written off as a total loss. We shall see. I’m crossing my fingers.

Shaken, I sat with the engine running and my foot on the break pedal well after police were called. A kind stranger checked on us before sirens approached. Paramedics cleared us with rainy conversation through my open window. I watched firemen sweeping up debris while photographs were taken and the situation assessed.

The best part of all of this? That perpetrator fleeing the scene did not realize that she left a calling card in the form of her front license plate. The idiot kept going because police had a warrant for her arrest. I didn’t get the pleasure of seeing her handcuffed, but it’s probably for the best.

You see, for a nonviolent person, I’ve often wondered if I could resist punching someone in the face for so much as denting my Volt. So there’s that; I’m not stewing in a cell next to that piece of garbage awaiting bail.

How is your week wrapping up?

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