A Bad Pun (snickered apology in advance)

This one’s for Ellen. Enjoy.

Shared by a FB Friend

For the rest of you, do you recognize this screen shot of Mr. Cage?

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Semantics, a Rant

Years ago, as he did twice a year for their Florida migration, my father turned over my ailing mother’s care to me and hubby for several days. She needed pain medication, so I took her shopping. Of course, she got confused. I still have a huge bottle of naproxen sodium.

Oh, well. I’m blessed not to need pain relief often.

And I screwed up, as well. Under stress, I meant to purchase a ‘no soliciting’ sign and brought home a ‘no trespassing’ notice instead.

My husband deemed the wording a bit harsh at the time, so I should have exchanged it but never did. To honor his wishes the thing got stored away.

Until recently.

Dealing with anxiety off and on, I hate hearing the doorbell or someone knocking unless we’re expecting a package or rare visitor. Yesterday evening we sat watching an episode of the miniseries “Presidents at War” when persistent knocking sounded. I refused to go to the door even though our television carries right through to the outside, especially at the volumes my husband often chooses.

A few minutes after the interloper gave up, I decided to step outside and found some guy wearing a construction vest like I’d seen on another solicitor turned away (!) a few days ago. Walking away from the house next door, he turned to my hail.

Anger emboldened, I shouted, “Hey! Don’t you know the definition of ‘no trespassing’?”

“Knocking on a door isn’t trespassing.”

I… begged to differ, you could say. He wasted no time heading the other direction.

Here is what an online search turned up:

tres·pass

[ˈtrespəs, ˈtresˌpas]

VERB

trespassing (present participle)

1. enter the owner's land or property without permission.

‘Nuff said. I’ve asked my husband to use Amazon.com points and buy this rather attractive yard sign. I wish it included the caveat “unless you are a child” but don’t expect this will stop them, anyway.

Would you approach such an unwelcoming door?

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The View From My Writing Desk

Gotta love the luxury of writing in bed… No kitty companion but still nice with a little classical Ravel playing in the background.

Artwork on the wall is a 2008 pastel on canvas by Claudio Osan
'Distant Drumming'

What’s your view like today?

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A Sinking Feeling or: How I Learned to Keep Worrying and Hate the Mattress

See at Bottom an Explanation of the Russian Ambassador's Expression...

I suppose hate is a strong word. Oh, and please forgive the bad homage to “Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb”. That movie never gets tiresome.

As for the sinking feeling, our memory foam seems to have forgotten its purpose. I think the idea is to keep me in bed, not dump me to the floor.

That happened with Jezebel the cat tucked against my hip when my cell phone, on the far side of the nightstand, rang. Busy writing, I first ignored it, then got a voicemail alert that always proves too distracting. So I leaned over, attempting not to disturb Jezzy, and that whole edge of the mattress sank under my elbow.

She, of course, moved away while I struggled against cracking my skull upon the furniture. Good thing we have a sturdy headboard. And I’m thankful to have been alone. Going viral as an Internet gif is not on my wish list.

But have you seen those commercials in which a woman jumps up and down on a memory foam bed and a full glass of wine at the foot sits motionless?

Lies. All lies.

Earlier that same morning, I woke up at 4am to use the bathroom. That is not normal for me, blessed with strong bladder control. But my husband tossing and turning jolted me to the point even my brain started sloshing.

I can’t blame him, though. My tendency for heavy sleep has been disturbed. After the decimation of my tropical fish tank and the failure of multiple aquarium heaters (???), stress over keeping those few survivors alive through wild water temperature fluctuations woke me every few hours.

To this day I have mild panic attacks just turning on my new digital thermometer. Changing tank water on Friday tested my heart, let me tell you. I hope that by springtime the tendency to overreact to every little thing will have faded.

Have you ever seen “Dr. Strangelove?” Did you know that Peter Sellers cracking up his fellow cast members resulted in the scene (at top), meant to be lit brighter, being filmed in heavy shadow?

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Hurray, Nick Wilford's Newest Book is Out!

Title: Corruption

Author: Nick Wilford

Genre: YA dystopian Series: Black & White Series #: 2 of 3

Release date: 11th February 2019

Publisher: Superstar Peanut Publishing

Blurb:

Wellesbury Noon and Ezmerelda Dontible have found themselves in a position where they can make their native land somewhere that lives up to its name: Harmonia. However, they’re setting their sights further afield for their number one task: eradicating the disease that has plagued the neighbouring country of Loretania for generations and allowed the privileged Harmonians to live in a sterile environment.

After dispatching a team of scientists to Loretania, armed with cratefuls of an antidote and vaccine and headed up by their friend, Dr George Tindleson, Welles, Ez, and Welles’s brother Mal – who grew up in that benighted nation – start to worry when they hear nothing back, despite what they had agreed. Commandeering a fishing boat to follow the science team over the sea, they soon find that, while the disease may be on the way out, a new kind of infection has set in – the corruption they thought they had stamped out in Harmonia.

Can they get to the root of the problem and eliminate it before even more damage is done to an innocent people?

*** Warning – this book contains themes that some sensitive readers may find upsetting. ***

Purchase Links:

Amazon US / Amazon UK / Smashwords / Barnes & Noble / Kobo / iBooks

Add it on Goodreads

Meet the author:

Nick Wilford is a writer and stay-at-home dad. Once a journalist, he now makes use of those early morning times when the house is quiet to explore the realms of fiction, with a little freelance editing and formatting thrown in. When not working he can usually be found spending time with his family or cleaning something. He has four short stories published in Writer’s Muse magazine. Nick is also the editor of Overcoming Adversity: An Anthology for Andrew. Visit him at his blog or connect with him on Twitter, Goodreads, Facebook, or Amazon.

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I hope to post a review of the book soon. Nick Wilford is a gifted writer.

Doesn’t he have an award winning smile?

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Pimping My Boys

It’s been a while since I shared anything about Palaye Royale. This post’s title is how my husband phrases my proclivity for mentioning them to pretty much everyone, including complete strangers.

As I type this, my new PR shirt is out for delivery. It promotes the single “Dying in a Hot Tub” off their newest “Boom Boom Room (Side B)” album. The font, colors, and overall design are pretty.

I like that the back sports their name and cool logo. Strangers are not likely to read the front of a woman’s shirt. If I do, and like the design and/or statement, I make a point to express appreciation.

Meanwhile, the video is good, too. Folks speculate that the ending symbolizes fans saving the band from giving up on their dream.

Do you read what is printed on other peoples’ garments?

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Jezebel the Lap Cat (?!)

Our cat Jezebel keeps amazing me. Today as I sat on a couch editing story using my laptop, she got on the armrest next to me, front paw tapping my keyboard. Curious, I slid the computer toward my knees and she got on my blanketed lap.

Jezebel has never been a lap cat. ‘Her’ blanket is on the cushion opposite us.

What? I can change...

I think maybe she senses my ongoing upset over losing all those lovely tropical fish. Even more amazing, she is still here as I type this, and strangers are in the house. At long last, our heat pump is being repaired.

Now, how do I prevent a crick in my neck looking at the screen off to the side?

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